Death is surely a sensitive topic in Turkish culture – so much so that it can be considered a taboo. Turks avoid talking about it, Turkish teachers are likely not to teach about it. With so many phrases to choose from and little information about their different connotations, it can be difficult for learners to properly offer their condolences or announce somebody’s death in Turkish. So, how do you actually say My condolences in Turkish?
How to offer condolences in Turkish
Başın(ız) sağ olsun! - May your wound heal!/May you be alive!/May your psychological state be well!/May the head of your family be alive so that you can live by!
The meaning of this phrase has become a hot topic over the past few years. Baş in Modern Turkish means head, but in Old Anatolian Turkish it also meant wound (because of a tumor's shape). Some etymologists claim that sağ olsun (may it be alive) evolved from sağalsın (may it heal), but there is no sufficient evidence to prove this claim. Others claim that, in this context, baş means mind or psychological state. Yet another theory has also emerged recently, where baş is interpreted as head of the family, giving the phrase the meaning may the head of your family be alive.
Also note that some people don't like using or hearing this phrase since they think it's dismissive of the loss.
Usually, Başın sağ olsun! is responded to with Dostlar sağ olsun! (May friends be alive!), which underlines the importance of community and togetherness after a loss.
Allah sabır versin! - May God give you patience!
Some people prefer this over Başın sağ olsun!. Note that atheists/agnostics and non-religious people don't particularly enjoy hearing it, but they won't scold you for it.
After offering your condolences to the loved ones, you should also wish well upon the soul of the dead.
Allah rahmet eylesin! - May God rest their soul!
Huzur/nur(lar) içinde yatsın! - Rest in peace/light!
Mekânı cennet olsun! - May heaven be his resting place!
Toprağı bol olsun! - May their soil be plentiful!
Ruhu şad olsun! - May their soul be at peace!
Euphemisms around dying
As most of you probably know, to die in Turkish is ölmek, but it is very rare to hear someone talk about the death of a loved one using that verb. Instead, Turks will use various euphemisms when talking about someone's passing, leading to confusion in learners when trying to listen to such a conversation.
Click on a verb to see an example of its usage (note that the translations show the literal meanings of the verbs, otherwise they all mean to die)!
Vefat etmek - to fulfill one's mission
Can vermek - to give life
Hayatını kaybetmek - to lose one's life
Yaşamını yitirmek - to lose one's life
Hayata gözlerini yummak - to close one's eyes to life
Hayata veda etmek - to say goodbye to life
Hakk'ın rahmetine kavuşmak - to meet the mercy of God
Birini kaybetmek - to lose a loved one
Şehit olmak/düşmek - (for soldiers or civilians who die in battle) to become a martyr
(Dâr-ı bekaya) İrtihal etmek - to migrate (to the land of eternity)
Aramızdan ayrılmak - to leave us (the living)
Hakk'a yürümek - to walk to God
Sizlere ömür - (May God give) you a (long) life
Sizlere ömür is unique because it entirely skips the action of passing away and instead implies it by offering condolences to the loved ones.
What to avoid when talking about death (dysphemisms)
Dysphemisms are derogatory, uncouth or unpleasant versions of words or phrases which are normally neutral. For example, to bite the dust is a dysphemism of to die. Dysphemisms are also common in Turkish, and they should be avoided unless you're talking about the death of a public enemy.
Gebermek - to die
Tahtalıköyü boylamak - to die (lit. to land in the graveyard)
Mortingen şıtraze - death street
Mortingen şıtraze is mock-language (words which are designed to imitate another language) for death street. Mortingen comes from mort (French for death) and the German suffix -ingen, while şıtraze comes from Straße (German for street).
Ex olmak - to become ex
Nalları dikmek - to lift the horseshoes
Horses usually sleep upright. But when they die, they lie on their backs and lift their legs into the air, so their horseshoes end up in the air, hence nalları dikmek.
So interesting that sağ ol can mean thanks and başın sağ olsun is condolences.